


Adjustments

by Kayryn



Category: Holby City
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Freeform, Gen, first christmas after Elinor's death, headcanon turned fanfic, the kids will be supporting players at best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 04:38:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13116192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kayryn/pseuds/Kayryn
Summary: Serena is prepared to spend Christmas alone. Away from home. It will be her first Christmas without Elinor.





	Adjustments

**Author's Note:**

> As so many of my fics, this was born as a headcanon that I found myself typing in a chat with Regency. Who then said, and I quote, "You have to post that." I do as she says.

Serena is prepared to spend Christmas alone. Away from home. At first it had been a daunting thought, but one she’d accepted. Bernie is going to be in Sudan and Jason would spend Christmas in Holby. Perhaps it is for the best. It will be her first Christmas without Elinor. It’s bound to be difficult and really there is no need to subject anyone to her less than cheery disposition throughout the holidays.

But when Bernie rings Serena about her plans to join her, Serena is pleased. Of course she'd love to spend Christmas with Bernie. She hadn’t really planned on celebrating as much as just trying to get through it, but now she adds a few things to her shopping list.

Then Bernie rings again a few days later, asking if it’s okay to have Cameron and Charlotte there as well. Of course Serena says yes right away. She takes out her shopping and to do lists and adds to both. And then a few hours after that Bernie rings once more, and asks if there's room for just one more. Serena doesn’t even try to contain her smile when she hears Jason wants to come as well.

And yes, Serena wonders, worries even, that it'll be uncomfortable. That everyone will be too concerned about how she feels because it’s their first Christmas without Ellie, because last Christmas was so awkward.

Serena doesn’t have too much time to fret, though. There’s too much to plan. With very little time, she needs to sort out presents, music, where everyone will sleep and other things as well. She dives into making a Christmas feast for them all.

The day Bernie arrives they decorate the house. Or rather, Bernie opens both the boxes they've found in the attic and the ones Serena had bought after learning she wouldn't be alone.

Serena ends up doing most of the actual decorating.

The children all arrive together a few days later. Serena is in the kitchen, preparing their first dinner when Bernie comes back from the train station with Cameron, Charlotte and Jason in tow. As soon as everyone’s been given a small tour of the house, Charlotte offers her help. She and Serena make quick work cutting vegetables and mixing ingredients as per the recipes Serena has written down from memory in the days before.

Serena had feared she'd have a quiet Christmas, alone in the house with nothing to keep her company but her memories of the last Christmas and regrets haunting her. But the house is full, of both people and love. It's not a large house to begin with. She hasn't needed much. But now every room is full, and they barely have enough room around the table for all of them.

It's a perfect few days, or as near as one could hope. Somehow, by some miracle, the mood is light for the most part. There's laughter, there's love... painful memories, too, but also good ones. It’s not all effortless, it’s not without those moments of discomfort, but it’s them, it’s family. It’s home away from home.

The fact that Ellie is not there with them is something they're all keenly aware of, but it helps that the house is different from last year. It helps that no one shys away from mentioning her name.

There's a picture of Ellie in the sitting room, with fairy lights around her.

She's there with them.

On the last day, well, the last night before the kids leave (Bernie will stay for another day before going back to Sudan), Bernie and Serena are in bed, cuddled under the covers. It's late. None of them wanted the day to end and even Jason had stayed up past his bedtime. Now, the house is silent and Serena and Bernie are basking in the feel of it all. It couldn't have gone better. With all the loss they've experienced this year, all the heartache and pain and anger... desperation.

Bernie asks her if Serena's pleased with how it all turned out. Serena says she is. It was good to see the kids all happy. She's slowly building a relationship with Cam and Charlotte.

Bernie nods, won't say anything right now, but knows from Cam that Charlotte really likes Serena. They're all aware, though no one speaks the words out loud, that Charlotte reminds them all of Elinor. They were the same age, same build, long hair... other than that they look nothing alike but there are other similarities. They're all still a little cautious about things stirring up memories for Serena. Not that Ellie is ever far from her thoughts. With time, Bernie wonders if her kids will come to view Serena as sort of a surrogate parent, as it looks like with Charlotte it's already starting to happen.

"It's good to feel needed," Serena says.

Bernie looks at her, knows there's probably more to those words than what will be revealed tonight. Nonetheless, she appreciates the general sentiment, agrees with Serena. "I'll always need you."

The words are heartfelt and the moment serious, but then Serena smiles a little, then a little a little more, her eyes gleaming. Her hand starts to travel from Bernie's shoulder down to her side, waist, lower. "That's good to know."

Bernie kisses her and Serena moans into her mouth. Bernie shushes her, then pulls back. It's an old house and everything can be heard throughout. It's also late and they have to be up in just a few hours to take the kids to the train station, from where they'll go to the airport and fly back home. After that, Serena and Bernie will come back to the house and Bernie has every intention of enjoying those last few hours with Serena. Thoroughly. Without any need for Serena to be quiet.

Bernie settles down on the bed and draws Serena closer. Kisses her head. Serena touches her lips against Bernie's collarbone, mumbles her goodnight against Bernie's shoulder.

It’s a silent night, and they sleep in peace.

  
  


The end

**Author's Note:**

> The title of refers to both adjustments to the plans Serena had for the holidays, and for the adjustments she's had to do and come to terms with since Ellie's death.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own any characters, settings, or stories recognizable as being from Holby City. They are the property of their actors, producers, writers, and studios, not me. No copyright infringement was intended and no money was made in the writing or distribution of this story.


End file.
